Wednesday 18 April 2018

Sober Up

That high that only you can give,
Whose embers danced in my eyes,
Is slowly dying in the cold wind you blow,
and the showers that pour from my injured soul.
So as the calls and texts that go unanswered pile up,
I reluctantly sober up.

It's not like you have moved to another town,
Loved someone else or forgotten my heart,
Rather, you are who you are,
Sometimes detached for reasons known and unknown,
Sometimes connected, open, and vulnerable.
Still, I can't help but dial down the light,
Harden myself to my feelings of you,
Lest I drown and completely lose myself,
So I sober up.

Funny how it finally seemed like things were getting better,
Like it was guaranteed happiness forever,
Where longing, dreaming, and hoping would end,
And turn to the beautiful reality I am sure we are destined.
But now I can see the price that a woman has to pay,
For being emotional, sensitive, and in need of constant attention,
Because I have sobered up.

Looking into the future,
I can see you in my life's picture,
For I know you are mine for eternity,
But I fear I will be lonely forever,
As something keeps holding you back,
Denying me the satisfaction,
Of knowing how it feels like to be completely loved.

Hmmm
Silly, silly, silly me
To think that a love like this could be normal
While its nothing but normal.
When I first came across your profile pic,
I knew I had stumbled upon the love of my life.
I remember it well, that profile pic
'Twas black and white,
You wore a tire, with your head held up high,
Such a confident man, such beautiful eyes, such delicious lips, I thought.
Yes,
It was love at first sight,
And even though we were strangers, neither age mates nor living in the same city,
I knew I wanted your babies.

Surely,
What we have is different and unique
However, your soul mirrors mine,
Like we are a match made in heaven
Nay, we are a match made in heaven.

Still,
I have been more romantic than you have
I have opened up myself to our love more than you have
I have loved you to bits, I still love you to bits
And I have let go of my pride and stubborn nature for you.
Unfortunately,
You have done neither of these things for me
Which is why, I am sober now